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Edgeworth: Transcending history. A tale of Souls and Swords…

Larry: And boobies!

Edgeworth: *sigh* Must you ruin every moment?

Larry: But there are-

Edgeworth: Shut up!

Phoenix: Can we for once skip all this stuff and get right into the review?

Larry: But then there’s no comedy Nick.

Phoenix: It’s a video game review, not stand up night at a bar Larry.

Edgeworth: So why don’t you inform us all on what game it is Wright?

Phoenix: Soul Calibur 4 for the Xbox 360 and Playstation 3.

Larry: No Wii release?

Phoenix: This game wouldn’t work on the Wii.

Larry: Aww… but what if I wanted to play Soul Calibur and my Xbox wasn’t plugged in?

Phoenix: You could try actually plugging you Xbox in…

Edgeworth: Or you could try Soul Calibur Legends for the Wii.

Larry: Oh God no!

Edgeworth: Okay then, I see no reason to complain.

Phoenix: Anyway, oddly enough this is the 5th game in the series.

Larry: What? Was there a Soul Calibur 0?

Phoenix: Not quite. The first game in the series was called “Soul Edge”, which was released in arcades, and then ported to the Playstation under the title “Soul Blade”. Soul Calibur was a sequel to that game, and so on.

Larry: Then why were the sequels after that numbered?

Edgeworth: That doesn’t matter right now! If you want answers then go and look them up when this review is over!

Phoenix: Well it’s worth noting that we’re not big fans of the Soul series.

Edgeworth: SOME of us aren’t fans of video games in general.

Phoenix: Well the ones of us who aren’t as “civilised” have only really played Soul Calibur 2 on the Playstation 2, Gamecube and Xbox.

Larry: Nick! You never played Soul Calibur 3?

Phoenix: I think Maya rented it once… it was okay I guess.

Edgeworth: The fact of the matter is: Like all of our reviews we’re not going to compare it to the games that came before it. We’re just going to review it as a game on its own.

Phoenix: Okay, now that that’s out of the way let’s-

Larry: I just realized that this is our first review of a game that isn’t on a Nintendo consol!

Edgeworth: Ignore him Wright. He’s just wasting time.

Phoenix: Let’s get on with this review. Let’s start with the story, or lack thereof.

Edgeworth: Indeed, there is very little to the plot this time around.

Larry: But it’s a fighting game. It doesn’t need a story, it just needs a lot of: HI-YA! WA-CHA! TEY-YA! *swings an invisible sword around*

Phoenix: Over the top demonstration aside, Larry’s right. With fighting games people aren’t looking for a deep story, they’re just looking to beat each other up.

Edgeworth: Well that’s true I suppose. Anyway, this game does have somewhat of a plot: All the characters are fighting for one of two swords, either Soul Calibur or Soul Edge, or both. They either want to use them to take over the world, save the world, destroy the blades, etc. There are a couple of characters who are after something different, but that’s what the majority want.

Phoenix: Now, the game does have a story for each character in ‘Story Mode’ but they’re not very in depth.

Edgeworth: Unless you count the back story it gives you on what’s happened to them since Soul Calibur 3.

Larry: Yeah, but I don’t want to have to read through a wall of text when I’m playing a fighting game. I just wanna get in there and whoop some ass!

Phoenix: Again I wouldn’t put it that way but Larry’s right. Most people playing the game don’t want to have to read that much into it.

Edgeworth: Well it’s not as bad as the ‘Weapon Master’ mode in Soul Calibur 2, which was more or less a novel…

Phoenix: Yes, but we said we wouldn’t be comparing them.

Edgeworth: I think a little comparison is necessary, Wright.

Phoenix: Hmm… you might have a point.

Larry: There’s not a lot more we can say on this section is there guys?

Phoenix: I don’t think so.

Edgeworth: Some of the characters have pretty interesting back stories, but it’s pretty much the same story for everyone.

Phoenix: I’d say we give a 4 here.

Larry: What?! Come on Nick, give it SOME credit!

Phoenix: What would you rate it?

Larry: … 5?

Phoenix: That doesn’t really add much…

Larry: Okay, 4.5 then!

Phoenix: Deal.

Edgeworth: I suppose I could settle for that.

Phoenix: Now gameplay, the most important aspect.

Larry: It’s freaking sweet! You run around smashing people to bits with your weapon of choice!

Edgeworth: The gameplay is… what you’d expect from a Soul Calibur game.

Larry: What’s that meant to mean?! It’s awesome!

Edgeworth: I’m not saying it’s not fun, I’m merely saying it’s pretty much the same formula as the previous games.

Phoenix: But that’s not a bad thing. You can’t really alter too much when it comes to fighting game sequels.

Edgeworth: I didn’t say it was a bad thing!

Phoenix: It’s the standard “slash you opponent until they fall” formula, but there are some new features this time around.

Larry: You can strip the ladies this time around!

Edgeworth: What he’s trying to say is that you can break your opponent’s armour if you hit them hard enough this time around. There are three separate sections, the head, body and legs, each will break depending on where you hit and how many times you hit it.

Phoenix: Another new feature that’s worth mention is the “Critical Finish”.

Larry: Oh, that’s freakin’ sweet!

Phoenix: Basically a “Critical Finish” is a super move a character can perform that can finish their opponent off in one move.

Edgeworth: So it’s like the “Final Smash” in Super Smash Brothers Brawl?

Phoenix: Not quite. Once this move has been initiated there’s no way to stop or avoid it, and it’s guaranteed to finish off your opponent. With some Final Smashes you can avoid them or they might not deal a finishing blow.

Larry: That’s right! Once I hit that left shoulder button it’s all over!

Phoenix: It’s not as simple as that, in fact it’s actually quite tricky to use it. You have to wait till your opponent’s “Soul Gauge” turns red, then you have to attack them while they’re guarding until you break through their guard, then press the left shoulder button. At least that’s what’s worked for me, I don’t know if there’s any other way.

Larry: It is pretty awesome, but it’s kinda cheap in a way. No matter how high your opponent’s health is, it will finish them off. It can be really annoying in a 2 player match.

Edgeworth: Have you by any chance been beaten like that in an online match Larry?

Larry: … er… a few times…

Phoenix: We would mention the “Soul Gauge” but in all honest I just don’t get it.

Edgeworth: Neither do I.

Larry: Me either.

Phoenix: As for gameplay modes, in single player you have Story mode, The Tower of Lost Souls mode, Arcade mode, and Training mode.

Edgeworth: In Story mode you must fight through five stages.

Larry: Yeah, only five! That sucks!

Edgeworth: What’s worse is that the both the third and final stages are the same for all characters. In the third stage you fight one of the bonus characters-

Larry: You mean “clone” characters!

Edgeworth: If you want. On the final stage you’ll either fight Siegfried, Nightmare or Algol depending on the character you’re playing as.

Phoenix: This mode is kind of interesting, but if you look at it in the long run it’s just Arcade mode with some cutscenes and tag battles in certain stages.

Larry: We should have probably mentioned tag mode before.

Phoenix: Oh right. Well tag mode is pretty self-explanatory. You can basically play as 1 to 3 characters at a time and tag in them in or out with the right shoulder button. With this you can perform even bigger combos then you can with 1 character.

Edgeworth: However this function is only available on The Tower of Lost Souls mode, and at certain parts with certain characters in Story mode.

Larry: That’s gay…

Phoenix: As for Arcade mode, it’s the same as in Soul Calibur 2, except you fight Algol at the end with everyone and there’s no “Destined Battles”.

Edgeworth: Though I think Story mode makes up for that.

Phoenix: But that’s not to say it’s not a lot of fun.

Larry: What about The Tower of Lost Souls mode?

Phoenix: Well apart from having one of the most cliché names ever, in The Tower of Lost Souls you can choose to either “Ascend”, or “Descend”. In “Ascend” modes you go up a series of floors fighting battles against many opponents and fighting certain “bosses” when you come to certain floors.

Edgeworth: In this mode you can earn items if you meet certain conditions.

Larry: Yeah, but they really difficult to meet and it doesn’t really tell you how.

Phoenix: Also in this mode you might have to K.O. your opponent a specific way in order to move on.

Edgeworth: On most floors you can use 2 and sometimes 3 characters at a time, this comes in handy because your health doesn’t restore between each floor.

Phoenix: In “Desend” mode you can pick 2 characters and you basically have to fight waves of enemies while going down floors.

Edgeworth: I found this mode to be tricky at times, but it’s still a lot of fun.

Phoenix: Yeah, it’s just too bad tag team isn’t available in multiplayer mode.

Edgeworth: There isn’t much to say on that mode. You can either have a “Standard Match” where you and another player just fight each other, or you can have a “Special Match” where you get special status depending on your weapons and armour.

Phoenix: It’s a lot of fun playing with a friend. Maya and I had a good laugh smashing each other to pieces.

Edgeworth: I suppose you two would enjoy that sort of thing.

Larry: Boobies!

Phoenix: ?

Edgeworth: ?

Larry: … I haven’t said anything in a while…

Edgeworth: >:(

Phoenix: A-anyway… this game includes an Online mode.

Edgeworth: For those who don’t have any friends to play the game with…

Larry: Why are you looking at me Edgey?!

Phoenix: Unfortunately I haven’t been able to set up Xbox Live yet, so I can’t comment on lag issues or anything like that, but I think it was a good move including it.

Edgeworth: I don’t even own an Xbox 360 or a Playstation 3, I had to play the game at Wright’s office.

Larry: But what were you REALLY doing there Edgey?

Edgeworth: Don’t encourage the yaoi fangirls Larry!

Phoenix: *sigh* The final mode worth mentioning is the Character Creator mode.

Larry: Oh yeah! That’s awesome! You can create your own character!

Phoenix: You can also give the characters you’ve unlocked different armour, weapons, hair styles, etc.

Edgeworth: More equipment becomes available when you get honours for doing things.

Phoenix: This mode is a lot of fun, but I’d say it’s a bit TOO detailed, especially for somebody who isn’t that creative (like me…). But Maya had a lot of fun making her and I one it, and she even managed to make the Steal Samurai.

Larry: I made myself too. I also took all the armour and clothing off the ladies.

Edgeworth: You would…

Larry: :D

Edgeworth: That wasn’t a compliment!

Larry: D:

Phoenix: You’re a sick man Larry…

Edgeworth: Oh come off it Wright! I saw you did the exact same thing on your copy of the game!

Phoenix: I… er… no I didn’t…

Edgeworth: Don’t even think of telling me it was Maya.

Phoenix: I… er… d-downloaded them from Larry via Xbox Live…

Edgeworth: OBJECTION! You just said you haven’t been able to set up Xbox Live, Wright!

Phoenix: ACH! Wait… aren’t I suppose to be the one pointing out contradictions?

Larry: Okay guys I think we’ve talked enough about gameplay now. Final score? For me it would be a 9.

Phoenix: Only a 9?

Larry: Well it’s pretty awesome, but I would have liked to have seen the tag feature on multiplayer mode.

Phoenix: Fair enough.

Edgeworth: I’d knock off another point for story mode being too short.

Phoenix: So an 8 then? Do we all agree?

Larry: I guess…

Edgeworth: Yes.

Phoenix: Okay, graphics. The graphics are really good; especially in the cut-scenes in Story mode (too bad most of them are stock footage).

Edgeworth: They’re pretty good…

Larry: “Pretty good”? The amazing!

Edgeworth: They’re not the best I’ve seen on this consol, but they’re not bad in any way. But some of the backgrounds on the stages looks very… plain.

Phoenix: But to be fair that’s only in very few of the stages.

Edgeworth: True.

Phoenix: I also felt that the Soul Calibur characters kind or stood out in the Star Wars stages, and vice-versa.

Larry: I was wondering when we were going to get to that.

Phoenix: The Star Wars characters and stages?

Larry: Yes.

Phoenix: I guess now’s as good a time as ever to mention them I guess.

Larry: For this game they’ve got Star Wars characters as the guest characters. Yoda’s on the 360 and Darth Vader’s on the PS3, though now both of them have become downloadable content on the other’s version… kinda taking the fun out of having two versions…

Phoenix: And Darth Vader’s secret apprentice from the game Star Wars: The Force Unleashed is on both versions.

Larry: Yeah, I always wondered “Why did they put him in”?

Phoenix: It was to promote the game before it came out.

Edgeworth: What I don’t understand is why they put Yoda in. Why not Luke Skywalker?

Phoenix: I suppose they though it would be cooler to put Yoda in.

Larry: That little bastard’s as cheap as anything! You can’t vertically slash him-

Edgeworth: You mean “horizontally” slash him Larry.

Larry: Tomato tomarto Edgey!

Edgewoth: No, they mean two different things.

Larry: Anyway you can’t grab him either!

Phoenix: Anyway, now that Larry’s done ranting about Yoda can we get back to talking about the graphics?

Edgeworth: Over-all I’d give the graphics an 8.

Phoenix: Fine, now music.

Larry: You didn’t ask my opinion on the graphics Nick!

Edgeworth: Let’s be honest, nobody really cares for it Larry.

Larry: … my fangirls do…

Phoenix: *ahem* The music in this game is pretty good. It suits the game quite well.

Larry: Yeah, but it’s not really my taste in music though.

Phoenix: Mine either.

Edgeworth: Really? This is one of the few video game soundtracks that I actually enjoy.

Larry: Wow. Edgey’s found a video game soundtrack he likes? Now I KNOW the apocalypse is coming.

Edgeworth: Shut up Larry!

Phoenix: Well for this section I’ll give it a 9. It’s good, it suits the game, but like we said it’s just not our taste in music.

Larry: I agree.

Edgeworth: Well I would have given it a 10 myself, but I suppose I could settle for a 9.

Phoenix: Now voice acting.

Edgeworth: This was really good. The voices suit the characters quite well and they all did a great job with all the grunts, groans and screaming.

Larry: There is the option to change their voices to Japanese for those lousy English language hating weeaboo communists.

Phoenix: … or those just curious as to what the Japanese cast sounded like…

Larry: Them too.

Phoenix: 10?

Larry: 10.

Edgeworth: Go on then.

Phoenix: Okay then, Larry you sum it up.

Larry: Alrighty then.
- Story: 4.5
Pro: Pretty interesting back-stories.
Con: Pretty much the same story with everyone..

- Gameplay: 8
Pro: Kept a lot like the games that came before it with some great new modes.
Con: Tag mode should be available in multiplayer mode. Story mode’s too short. Yoda is freaking cheap!

- Graphics: 8
Pro: Looks amazing, also: HUGE BOOBIES!
Con: Star Wars characters stand out, but to be fair that does add to the comedic value. Some backgrounds look plain.

- Music: 9
Pro: Suits the game.
Con: Not our taste in music though.

- Voice acting: 10
Pro: Voices suit the characters.
Con: None.

- Overall score: 8
If you have a 360 or PS3 you HAVE to have this game! If you’re a Soul Calibur fan you HAVE to have this game! Some say it’s not as great as Soul Calibur 2, but we strongly disagree.

Phoenix: Yeah, personally we think this one’s the best, but that’s just our opinion.

Larry: Now if you two will excuse me, Ivy calls.

Phoenix: Er… I’d… er… better be heading off too…

Edgeworth: Just admit you’re leaving for the same reason he is Wright…

Phoenix: Now I’ll show you! *points finger* OBJECTION!

*A huge OBJECTION speech bubble comes out, killing Edgeworth instantly*

A preview image will be uploaded later.

At long last, here it is: A new PEL review. The first PEL review on a game that's not on a Nintendo consol. Hope ya like it.

Inspired by Psyguy's 1019 reviews, which are far superior to mine.

You can find the original 1019 reviews that inspired this here: [link]

Also make sure to check out Psyguy's site there's lots of cool and funny stuff on there: [link]
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Fansyboots Featured By Owner Nov 1, 2011
Query: What character is best for beginners?
Zatchbell123 Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2009
AlchemistMayCry Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Larry needs to stop ogling Ivy's cleavage if he's ever going to get a girlfriend. Oh wait, it's Larry. He'll be lonely and single forever! :XD:

And I want to see that Objection critical finish in the actual game!

I say the PEL review should be of The Force Unleashed. I'm sure Phoenix, Larry, and Edgeworth would have a wonderful least until the game gets so frustrating they call in Franziska to whip the disc. o_O
Card-shark Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
Nice, I'm wondering if anyother charaters forum there games will cameo.
Sir-Zurr Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
I love the way you do these and KAT reviews. And like others have said, good job on the ending!
SkunkMight Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
Long but entertaining, very good review :)
Crowey08 Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
OBJECTION! :D lol great review
BreakerdeGodot Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
Hehe... Nick stole the "Objection!" from Edgey.
NinjaHeart Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
That "Objection" thing would DEFINITELY be Phoenix's Final Smash....xD I'd like to see that someday! Too bad it probably won't happen....

P.S. Thanks for not encouraging the Edgewright fans--God knows we don't need any more of them....*stormcloud over head*
VenManson Featured By Owner Nov 10, 2008
Great review Jack. I loved the ending!
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